hidden journalling open
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Long day...
Mercedes decided that 6am was a great time to wake up...didn't thrill me, cause I hadn't gone to bed till 3!
Got some groceries...everything is so dang expensive...blah!
Did photo shoot...finally have pics I need for a LO!
Took a nap!
Played on the 'puter..think I'm getting addicted to reading blogs!
Cleaned my house!
Couldn't get Mercedes asleep until 11:30...don't know how she managed to still be awake?
Ready to start my LO, except after cleaning my house I kinda lost my energy, so now it sits to wait yet one more day!
Oh the excitement in my life is almost beyond comprehension....any thrilling Friday night for me! lol
Got some groceries...everything is so dang expensive...blah!
Did photo shoot...finally have pics I need for a LO!
Took a nap!
Played on the 'puter..think I'm getting addicted to reading blogs!
Cleaned my house!
Couldn't get Mercedes asleep until 11:30...don't know how she managed to still be awake?
Ready to start my LO, except after cleaning my house I kinda lost my energy, so now it sits to wait yet one more day!
Oh the excitement in my life is almost beyond comprehension....any thrilling Friday night for me! lol
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The germs won...but my mom has baby fish!
Yup, I've surrendered to the germs and finally admitted, I AM SICK! The dr. confirmed it with a prompt diagnosis of bronchitis, followed by a prescription for antibiotics & some pretty good cough medicine. This morning was pretty much a write off...barely managed to drag my congested head & body to the dr's & pharmacy after making sure my child had a healthy breakfast of Corn Pops! She went to my mom's for awhile & I dropped onto my couch, from whence I did not move for almost 2 whole hours. I knew my mom had gone out, leaving Ferrin in charge, so I figured I better go check on the kids...my sister in law was in Lethbridge so a couple of her kids were over too.
When I got there the kids were playing happily (miracles never cease) so I grabbed my camera and managed to get a few pictures of the backyard. My mom had bought 6 goldfish and/or Koi at the beginning of the summer, and now although there are only 2 left, they have gotten quite large...and well procreated like rabbits!! I managed to count 18 babies at one point and my mom says she's counted as many as 23...I couldn't see them all today, but I do think I got about 11 0r 13 in a couple of the pictures! I'll post em, so count for yourselves...just remember baby fish shadows look remarkably like baby fish!
After my 5 minutes excursion with the camera I was pretty much worn out again, so I came back to my couch and watched the movie Hitch. Now this was a movie that I had thought would be good, but I wasn't really in the mood to watch it today, cause, well I felt like a bag of poo & didn't feel like laughing about anything. However the disk for Bowling for Columbine wouldn't work so it was Hitch or a movie about Joseph Smith, and well, I definately wasn't in the mood for Mr. Smith! Now watching a movie that you are not in the mood for...it's weird...I really had wanted to watch Bowling for Columbine, and I was pretty choked when it wouldn't work...you know that kind of feeling like you get when you are really craving something and you know it's in your fridge at home, and all day, all you can think about is how good it's gonna taste & how bad you want it...and then you get home...and someone else ATE it!!! You know, that feeling! And even though you have a full fridge of other food, NOTHING looks good, cause all you wanted was that one thing you were craving....well it's kinda like that! So I finally decided to just watch Hitch even though I didn't think I was in the mood...and I ended up laughing my ass off! Literally laughing out loud...which does not happen often when watching a movie alone and you are sick and miserable! I may even watch it again!
Tonight I managed to get a small burst of energy...enough to feed my child a partially balanced meal, tidy my kitchen and clean the sinks (I have a thing about a clean sink), and even read and answered all my email. Mercedes was also in a good mood tonight and for some reason thought it was hilarious to run around the house naked, waggin her butt and saying "nana nana boo b00"...gotta love four year olds!
So that's my day...mostly...and I'll add some pics of the baby fish...btw Mercedes tells me the big fish are named Sunshine & polka dot...although my mom tells me the other kids have named them something else...I really don't think the fish care one way or the other, doesn't matter what ya call them, they ain't coming! lol
When I got there the kids were playing happily (miracles never cease) so I grabbed my camera and managed to get a few pictures of the backyard. My mom had bought 6 goldfish and/or Koi at the beginning of the summer, and now although there are only 2 left, they have gotten quite large...and well procreated like rabbits!! I managed to count 18 babies at one point and my mom says she's counted as many as 23...I couldn't see them all today, but I do think I got about 11 0r 13 in a couple of the pictures! I'll post em, so count for yourselves...just remember baby fish shadows look remarkably like baby fish!
After my 5 minutes excursion with the camera I was pretty much worn out again, so I came back to my couch and watched the movie Hitch. Now this was a movie that I had thought would be good, but I wasn't really in the mood to watch it today, cause, well I felt like a bag of poo & didn't feel like laughing about anything. However the disk for Bowling for Columbine wouldn't work so it was Hitch or a movie about Joseph Smith, and well, I definately wasn't in the mood for Mr. Smith! Now watching a movie that you are not in the mood for...it's weird...I really had wanted to watch Bowling for Columbine, and I was pretty choked when it wouldn't work...you know that kind of feeling like you get when you are really craving something and you know it's in your fridge at home, and all day, all you can think about is how good it's gonna taste & how bad you want it...and then you get home...and someone else ATE it!!! You know, that feeling! And even though you have a full fridge of other food, NOTHING looks good, cause all you wanted was that one thing you were craving....well it's kinda like that! So I finally decided to just watch Hitch even though I didn't think I was in the mood...and I ended up laughing my ass off! Literally laughing out loud...which does not happen often when watching a movie alone and you are sick and miserable! I may even watch it again!
Tonight I managed to get a small burst of energy...enough to feed my child a partially balanced meal, tidy my kitchen and clean the sinks (I have a thing about a clean sink), and even read and answered all my email. Mercedes was also in a good mood tonight and for some reason thought it was hilarious to run around the house naked, waggin her butt and saying "nana nana boo b00"...gotta love four year olds!
So that's my day...mostly...and I'll add some pics of the baby fish...btw Mercedes tells me the big fish are named Sunshine & polka dot...although my mom tells me the other kids have named them something else...I really don't think the fish care one way or the other, doesn't matter what ya call them, they ain't coming! lol
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Dreary day #2...
Another day of rain & gray skies...Blah!!! I woke up feeling even more congested today, so it looks like I officially have a cold...I hate being sick...I really hate being sick with a sick 4 year old...but them's the joys of being a mom!
Broke down today and had to turn on my furnace....I had a three sweater rule...if I was wearing three sweaters & still cold, then I had to turn on the heat...and today I had too! I was trying so hard to make it through August though, but hopefully the weather will warm up again soon. Only too soon, winter will be here...Blah!!!
Didn't do much today, except watch Love Song for Bobby Long and Shrek 2 both of which I thought were very good! I can't believe I hadn't seen Shrek 2 yet, but I finally watched it today with Mercedes and had a few laughs...and I really enjoyed Bobby Long...started it last night and finished it this morning when Mercedes was over at Grandma's. I do miss watching movies with someone though...I mean other than Mercedes...I miss being able to talk to someone about the movie, right after it's over...maybe I need to look for a movie message board! lol I crack myself up sometimes!
Crack-in-the-box phoned tonight to talk to his daughter...he's still not working, and still thinks that there is a hope for us...NOT!!! The best thing I ever did for my health was leave him...I will NEVER live like that again! At least he didn't wait a month to call his daughter this time...and he did take the initiative himself, without me having to call him. Mercedes didn't even want to talk to him at first, but I bribed her with a candy...wonder if he appreciates how much I would have just rather said "she doesn't want to talk to you" and slammed the phone down? Probably not. But there are alot of things I'm sure he doesn't appreciate....things like bedtime struggles night after night when I'm already dead tired, or making what she wants for breakfast only for her to decide she wants something else, and then carrying her kicking and screaming to her room for a time out cause I refuse to be her short-order cook. What about the 20 minutes it takes to get out the door because she HAS to do everything herself, except she can't, so she gets frustrated and screams! Or the times she tells me she misses her daddy and doesn't love me anymore and wants to go be with him, and I just take her in my arms and hug her and tell her I know she misses her daddy, but I love her and she has to stay here with me, but hopefully he will come to visit her or call her soon. Or the times I've printed off pictures of him & put them in frames for her to have next to her bed, so she can look at them before she goes to sleep. What about the 3 am wake up calls for a glass of juice only to get up the next morning and find the full glass still sitting on her night table? Or the email that takes 2 hours to write, because I keep getting interrupted to put on a movie, play a game, get more juice or crackers, or supper, or let her play her computer game? What about budgetting my money to make sure there is enough to buy her favorite cereal and still have enough left over for a trip to the dollar store to buy her a treat? Or does he appreciate the 60 + bandaids I've put on this month, each accompanied by a hug, a kiss, and a snuggle...for each little boo-boo...even the ones invisible to the naked eye. I doubt he appreciates any of it...nor do I think he is even aware of it...but that's ok, cause I don't do it for him...I do it for her...because I don't know where I'd be without her, and I don't even want to try to imagine.
She is my princess, my daughter, my heart and my soul...and I love her with everything that I am...and for her, I would do anything!
Broke down today and had to turn on my furnace....I had a three sweater rule...if I was wearing three sweaters & still cold, then I had to turn on the heat...and today I had too! I was trying so hard to make it through August though, but hopefully the weather will warm up again soon. Only too soon, winter will be here...Blah!!!
Didn't do much today, except watch Love Song for Bobby Long and Shrek 2 both of which I thought were very good! I can't believe I hadn't seen Shrek 2 yet, but I finally watched it today with Mercedes and had a few laughs...and I really enjoyed Bobby Long...started it last night and finished it this morning when Mercedes was over at Grandma's. I do miss watching movies with someone though...I mean other than Mercedes...I miss being able to talk to someone about the movie, right after it's over...maybe I need to look for a movie message board! lol I crack myself up sometimes!
Crack-in-the-box phoned tonight to talk to his daughter...he's still not working, and still thinks that there is a hope for us...NOT!!! The best thing I ever did for my health was leave him...I will NEVER live like that again! At least he didn't wait a month to call his daughter this time...and he did take the initiative himself, without me having to call him. Mercedes didn't even want to talk to him at first, but I bribed her with a candy...wonder if he appreciates how much I would have just rather said "she doesn't want to talk to you" and slammed the phone down? Probably not. But there are alot of things I'm sure he doesn't appreciate....things like bedtime struggles night after night when I'm already dead tired, or making what she wants for breakfast only for her to decide she wants something else, and then carrying her kicking and screaming to her room for a time out cause I refuse to be her short-order cook. What about the 20 minutes it takes to get out the door because she HAS to do everything herself, except she can't, so she gets frustrated and screams! Or the times she tells me she misses her daddy and doesn't love me anymore and wants to go be with him, and I just take her in my arms and hug her and tell her I know she misses her daddy, but I love her and she has to stay here with me, but hopefully he will come to visit her or call her soon. Or the times I've printed off pictures of him & put them in frames for her to have next to her bed, so she can look at them before she goes to sleep. What about the 3 am wake up calls for a glass of juice only to get up the next morning and find the full glass still sitting on her night table? Or the email that takes 2 hours to write, because I keep getting interrupted to put on a movie, play a game, get more juice or crackers, or supper, or let her play her computer game? What about budgetting my money to make sure there is enough to buy her favorite cereal and still have enough left over for a trip to the dollar store to buy her a treat? Or does he appreciate the 60 + bandaids I've put on this month, each accompanied by a hug, a kiss, and a snuggle...for each little boo-boo...even the ones invisible to the naked eye. I doubt he appreciates any of it...nor do I think he is even aware of it...but that's ok, cause I don't do it for him...I do it for her...because I don't know where I'd be without her, and I don't even want to try to imagine.
She is my princess, my daughter, my heart and my soul...and I love her with everything that I am...and for her, I would do anything!
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Dreary day...
The weather has been cold & dreary here all day...doesn't help the spirits much either. I did go to Tales for Tots with Sonda & Sawyer, Hope and Mercedes. It was offered through the local library and they did a fantastic job! They read stories, then played some games, decorated treat bags, had a pinata & then got to make alien cookies, astonaut pudding and drink tang! Can you guess that the theme was space? lol The kids had a ball and I was very impressed with how well run it was...gotta love the library!
Mercedes wanted to go over and play with Sonda's kids for a while, so I came home and just felt kinda blah, so I started watching a movie, but ended up taking a nap. I don't really feel depressed (well maybe a little), but I sure have not had any energy the last few days. I'm just hoping that it's a cold or something...don't here that too often! lol
I had ordered two of these stamps. I'm very impressed with the company, as the shipping was very prompt and they even threw in a little freebie stamp. Anyways I took them over to my mom's to show her and get my stepdad to make me some wooden blocks to mount them on. My mom and I decided to make a quick trip downtown and on the way back she said to me "isn't it kinda nice to not have to explain to anyone what you did all day, or what's for supper, or worry about what kind of mood they'll be in when they get home from work" and I said "yes, it is nice...it is very nice, but it's kinda lonely"
I've been feeling lonely alot lately. I don't miss Brad per se...I just miss adult conversation. My mom hasn't seemed too interested in just sitting and visiting lately, and I don't really know anyone else yet. My sister, but she's always busy with her 6 kids and well, we would not be BEST FRIENDS if we weren't sisters...FRIENDS maybe, but not BEST FRIENDS! Maybe I just feel it more right now cause I don't have any long distance for another week...but still, there is something to be said about fact-to-face conversation. Without feeling like the other person would rather be doing something else (my mom) or doesn't have time (my mom & my sister). I just miss having someone to watch a movie with...you know I don't generally like talking when I'm trying to watch a movie, but someone to make occasional comments like "did you see that?" or "I can't believe that just happened" and then someone to talk to after the movie is over... like "that was soooo great" or "WHAT a stupid movie" ... just talking.
It amazes me how I can be so glad to have time to myself and yet feel so lonely at the same time. I miss having friends pop by just to visit...I miss having conversations with someone over the age of 4 at the dinner table ... but that's life...you always sacfrice something for something else...so I need to just wipe these tears from my cheeks, and buck up little camper...things could be worse, I could still be living with a alcoholic crackhead....AND THANK GOD I'M NOT!!!
Mercedes wanted to go over and play with Sonda's kids for a while, so I came home and just felt kinda blah, so I started watching a movie, but ended up taking a nap. I don't really feel depressed (well maybe a little), but I sure have not had any energy the last few days. I'm just hoping that it's a cold or something...don't here that too often! lol
I had ordered two of these stamps. I'm very impressed with the company, as the shipping was very prompt and they even threw in a little freebie stamp. Anyways I took them over to my mom's to show her and get my stepdad to make me some wooden blocks to mount them on. My mom and I decided to make a quick trip downtown and on the way back she said to me "isn't it kinda nice to not have to explain to anyone what you did all day, or what's for supper, or worry about what kind of mood they'll be in when they get home from work" and I said "yes, it is nice...it is very nice, but it's kinda lonely"
I've been feeling lonely alot lately. I don't miss Brad per se...I just miss adult conversation. My mom hasn't seemed too interested in just sitting and visiting lately, and I don't really know anyone else yet. My sister, but she's always busy with her 6 kids and well, we would not be BEST FRIENDS if we weren't sisters...FRIENDS maybe, but not BEST FRIENDS! Maybe I just feel it more right now cause I don't have any long distance for another week...but still, there is something to be said about fact-to-face conversation. Without feeling like the other person would rather be doing something else (my mom) or doesn't have time (my mom & my sister). I just miss having someone to watch a movie with...you know I don't generally like talking when I'm trying to watch a movie, but someone to make occasional comments like "did you see that?" or "I can't believe that just happened" and then someone to talk to after the movie is over... like "that was soooo great" or "WHAT a stupid movie" ... just talking.
It amazes me how I can be so glad to have time to myself and yet feel so lonely at the same time. I miss having friends pop by just to visit...I miss having conversations with someone over the age of 4 at the dinner table ... but that's life...you always sacfrice something for something else...so I need to just wipe these tears from my cheeks, and buck up little camper...things could be worse, I could still be living with a alcoholic crackhead....AND THANK GOD I'M NOT!!!
Monday, August 22, 2005
All & All a pretty good day!
Woke up this morning feeling a little shitty...still tired & run down...bit of a headache & stomach ache. I must be fighting the cold/flu that everyone else has had over the last week or so. Anyways I needed smokes so Mercedes went over to my mom's & I ran to the grocery store, where of course, they did not have my brand of tobacco...so I just bought a pack & hopefully they'll have my brand tomorrow or Wednesday.
One of the reasons I haven't been around much the last couple days was because I lost my 'e' key...and what is the most used letter in the alphabet...you got it, the 'E'! So I decided I better go get a new keyboard. I had talked to my brother-in-law last night and he said the prices of the local computer store were quite competitive & I should go for the keyboard/optical mouse combo...so I did! It was kinda funny cause I walked into the store and 'the guy' was busy with someone else so I was just looking around, cause I also have a new cd burner & new scanner on my wishlists, so it's always good to check things out. Anyways 'the guy' finally comes over and asks if he can help me and I tell him I'm looking for a keyboard...so he's like, well I have this one, or this one or this one...I'm like ok...besides the price difference what's different about these? Like HELLO, sell it to me!!! lol Anyways I got a decent price and the guy was nice and I'm happy with my purchase, so all is well.
Then this afternoon, my mom, stepdad, sister & brother in law all went out to my Grandma's farm to pick up her piano for me. She had decided that she didn't need it anymore and when she offered it to me, I jumped at the chance! I haven't had my own piano for over 10 years now and I've been missing it soooo badly! It's a really nice piano, and once it's tuned it's gonna sound great! Plus I already have 2 students lined up for fall, so it will be nice to be able to practice myself again. I'm just so excited to have a piano again...and what a wonderful gift/heirloom...I have many memories of playing this piano for my grandma & grandpa when I was growing up & now I get to teach my own child how to play on it! There just aren't words enough for how much this means to me!
No scrappin today, but hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow and can get some things started...kinda waiting on the order I made last Friday cause I need some of the things I ordered to complete the LO's I have in mind. All and all though, today was a great day!
One of the reasons I haven't been around much the last couple days was because I lost my 'e' key...and what is the most used letter in the alphabet...you got it, the 'E'! So I decided I better go get a new keyboard. I had talked to my brother-in-law last night and he said the prices of the local computer store were quite competitive & I should go for the keyboard/optical mouse combo...so I did! It was kinda funny cause I walked into the store and 'the guy' was busy with someone else so I was just looking around, cause I also have a new cd burner & new scanner on my wishlists, so it's always good to check things out. Anyways 'the guy' finally comes over and asks if he can help me and I tell him I'm looking for a keyboard...so he's like, well I have this one, or this one or this one...I'm like ok...besides the price difference what's different about these? Like HELLO, sell it to me!!! lol Anyways I got a decent price and the guy was nice and I'm happy with my purchase, so all is well.
Then this afternoon, my mom, stepdad, sister & brother in law all went out to my Grandma's farm to pick up her piano for me. She had decided that she didn't need it anymore and when she offered it to me, I jumped at the chance! I haven't had my own piano for over 10 years now and I've been missing it soooo badly! It's a really nice piano, and once it's tuned it's gonna sound great! Plus I already have 2 students lined up for fall, so it will be nice to be able to practice myself again. I'm just so excited to have a piano again...and what a wonderful gift/heirloom...I have many memories of playing this piano for my grandma & grandpa when I was growing up & now I get to teach my own child how to play on it! There just aren't words enough for how much this means to me!
No scrappin today, but hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow and can get some things started...kinda waiting on the order I made last Friday cause I need some of the things I ordered to complete the LO's I have in mind. All and all though, today was a great day!
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Night at the theater
Tonight I went to see Guys and Dolls with my niece at the local theatre...http://www.thecarriagehousetheatre.com/. It was a really good show and it was nice to get out for a couple hours!
Today wasn't an overly productive day since I haven't been sleeping well, so today I took a nap for 2 hours! I did buy a couple sheets of Bazzill and some ribbon at the local craft store, and managed to get a couple things printed ... maybe tomorrow I can actually sit down and put some of these ATC's together! I also need to start a LO about my Family and one about the puppy...of course I'll probably spend two hours browsing online for ideas first! lol
My best friend has been gone on holidays for the last 12 days, and she is FINALLY coming home tomorrow! Yay! We've talked on the phone a couple times since she's been gone and chatted online a few times, but usually we talk or chat daily and I've really missed that! We've been best friends for about 25 years now and there is NOTHING we can't talk about....everyone needs a friend like that! One of these days I'll even get a LO done about her too, but I just haven't found all the right words yet to describe what she means to me...it's one of those LO's that needs to stew in my brain for a few months before it'll be ready to try to put on paper!
Nothing else too exciting to say right now, cold & rainy here today, so the weather is kinda depressing, but it is supposed to be nice for the weekend. Here's hoping I get a good night sleep tonight!
Today wasn't an overly productive day since I haven't been sleeping well, so today I took a nap for 2 hours! I did buy a couple sheets of Bazzill and some ribbon at the local craft store, and managed to get a couple things printed ... maybe tomorrow I can actually sit down and put some of these ATC's together! I also need to start a LO about my Family and one about the puppy...of course I'll probably spend two hours browsing online for ideas first! lol
My best friend has been gone on holidays for the last 12 days, and she is FINALLY coming home tomorrow! Yay! We've talked on the phone a couple times since she's been gone and chatted online a few times, but usually we talk or chat daily and I've really missed that! We've been best friends for about 25 years now and there is NOTHING we can't talk about....everyone needs a friend like that! One of these days I'll even get a LO done about her too, but I just haven't found all the right words yet to describe what she means to me...it's one of those LO's that needs to stew in my brain for a few months before it'll be ready to try to put on paper!
Nothing else too exciting to say right now, cold & rainy here today, so the weather is kinda depressing, but it is supposed to be nice for the weekend. Here's hoping I get a good night sleep tonight!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Some things never change...
I've had my suspicions for the last few days that my soon to be ex-husband did not have a job. Today I found out that I was right! He had told me he was still working, but I didn't believe him so I called his work and sure enough, he doesn't work there anymore! So I called his parents house and talked to him, and told him I knew he didn't have a job...another job lost because of his crack problem. He tries to tell me that he lost his job cause my lawyer faxed papers to his work...I reminded him that if he hadn't dodged the process server for three weeks, my lawyer wouldn't have needed to fax papers to his work! Besides I think his work was pretty fed up when he kept missing days at a time and then when he did show up, he loaded a truck with glue
INSTEAD of acid! Pretty sure it's not my fault he lost his job!
Anyways he talked to Mercedes for a few minutes and then he told me that he wants to come down to visit soon. I said that would be fine but I want 24 hours notice and he has to call if he's not coming...I'm not sitting around all day waiting for him to show up...like last time when he didn't bother showing up at all! He told me that he needed to come down soon cause he had to talk to me. I asked why and he said cause he's missed his best friend & thought we could at least be friends. I said I would be happy to be friends for Mercedes sake, but we are still getting a divorce and there was nothing left between us. He told me that he has some major shit going on right now and he needs to talk to me face to face. Whatever. I said that was fine as long as he could be satisfied with us ONLY being friends...we are still getting a divorce! He said he could...we will see.
I doubt that he'll even bother coming down soon, but one never knows with him! Mercedes would love it though, so for her sake I hope he does. I'm a tiny bit curious as to what he needs to talk about, but not overly. I'm pretty sure it's just some bullshit about how he's gonna change or something...maybe he'll tell me he's dying or something...I'd put nothing past him at this point. Doesn't matter what he says though, I will never go back to him. He's starting to really even LOOK like a crackhead. He's lost a bunch of weight and he just looks slimy! When he was down to visit a couple weeks ago I just felt pity for him, but no feelings of desire or even missing him! Once again I've been reminded of how right my decision to leave him was! Anyways without a job, I guess I won't be seeing any child support anytime soon....not like I've seen any yet, or expected too!
Some good news today though, I got a great package in the mail from one of the girls on a scrapbook message board that I hang at. It was so awesome! She sent me the recipe pages from a swap I was in, plus a ton of fun RAK's! I truly think that scrapbookers are some of the best people on earth...so caring and thoughtful and just wonderful people! It truly was the highlight of my day!
I also did a little playing with some ATC's...I could maybe, actually finish one if I got a chance to work on it for more than 3 or 4 minutes at a time, but that doesn't seem to be happening lately. Mercedes must not be feeling well cause she's just been clinging to me like crazy and oh, so whiny! She's over at grandma's for a few minutes right now, so I should get off the 'puter and try to get some art done! :)
INSTEAD of acid! Pretty sure it's not my fault he lost his job!
Anyways he talked to Mercedes for a few minutes and then he told me that he wants to come down to visit soon. I said that would be fine but I want 24 hours notice and he has to call if he's not coming...I'm not sitting around all day waiting for him to show up...like last time when he didn't bother showing up at all! He told me that he needed to come down soon cause he had to talk to me. I asked why and he said cause he's missed his best friend & thought we could at least be friends. I said I would be happy to be friends for Mercedes sake, but we are still getting a divorce and there was nothing left between us. He told me that he has some major shit going on right now and he needs to talk to me face to face. Whatever. I said that was fine as long as he could be satisfied with us ONLY being friends...we are still getting a divorce! He said he could...we will see.
I doubt that he'll even bother coming down soon, but one never knows with him! Mercedes would love it though, so for her sake I hope he does. I'm a tiny bit curious as to what he needs to talk about, but not overly. I'm pretty sure it's just some bullshit about how he's gonna change or something...maybe he'll tell me he's dying or something...I'd put nothing past him at this point. Doesn't matter what he says though, I will never go back to him. He's starting to really even LOOK like a crackhead. He's lost a bunch of weight and he just looks slimy! When he was down to visit a couple weeks ago I just felt pity for him, but no feelings of desire or even missing him! Once again I've been reminded of how right my decision to leave him was! Anyways without a job, I guess I won't be seeing any child support anytime soon....not like I've seen any yet, or expected too!
Some good news today though, I got a great package in the mail from one of the girls on a scrapbook message board that I hang at. It was so awesome! She sent me the recipe pages from a swap I was in, plus a ton of fun RAK's! I truly think that scrapbookers are some of the best people on earth...so caring and thoughtful and just wonderful people! It truly was the highlight of my day!
I also did a little playing with some ATC's...I could maybe, actually finish one if I got a chance to work on it for more than 3 or 4 minutes at a time, but that doesn't seem to be happening lately. Mercedes must not be feeling well cause she's just been clinging to me like crazy and oh, so whiny! She's over at grandma's for a few minutes right now, so I should get off the 'puter and try to get some art done! :)
Monday, August 15, 2005
Pain & Creativity do not mix
Today was a long day! I had a tooth pulled last week and on Saturday I realized that I had dry socket. Of course the dentist wasn't working on the weekend so I just suffered with it. First thing this morning I called to make an appointment and much to my dismay the dentist won't be in until tomorrow! Ow, ow, owwwwwww! I finally went to the dr. just to get something for the pain and luckily I have an appointment with the dentist tomorrow morning!
After the doctor I just wanted to come home and lay down, but I needed a few groceries & to get my prescription filled. So I go to start the car...it's my mom's 1986 Toyota Camry...I don't have my own car right now. Anyways her car has this problem where you can put the key in, but it won't turn! I sat there for over 10 minutes trying to get the key to turn...and the car was hot...and I was in pain...and in a hurry! Finally I just walked down to the dollar store cause I was so frustrated. Wandered around the dollar store for a few minutes, picked up a few things, replenished my tootsie roll supply and then walked back to the car. Again I sat there for 10 minutes trying to get the stupid key to turn. By now I was starting to get a blister on my thumb. Finally I go back into the dr.'s office to use their phone...all their lines are busy, so AGAIN I go try to start the car. FINALLY after another 5 minutes I get it started! Now I'm really annoyed!
I drive to Extra Foods, drop off the prescriptions and they say it will be 20-25 minutes...which means it will be at least 40 minutes! My mouth was aching, my head was throbbing, my thumb was blistering and I was hot as hell. So I came home, smoked two cigarettes (ya, I know, really good for the sore mouth!), popped an Ativan and finally calmed down enough to go get some groceries. After all that I went over and helped my mom can some peaches and then came home to work on some ATC's I need to make for a swap.
I have a few general ideas of what I'd like to do, but nothing specific...so I did some experimenting. Usually when I experiment I get MOSTLY good results...not so much tonight...not sure if it was the pain or the help of a four year old, but I finally packed it in and I'm calling it a night!
Did manage to get the money sent up for my son's birthday on the 21st and found out that my oldest dd got her learner's liscense yesterday...Congrats, Jessi! I also started trying to figure out some good music to use with slide shows...I want to make one for my mom & stepdad with some of the pics I've been taking of all their grandkids...and I will probably make one of Mercedes for Brad & his mom & dad.
Tomorrow I will be trying to get some cute pics of Braya with her new puppy, Muffy.
After the doctor I just wanted to come home and lay down, but I needed a few groceries & to get my prescription filled. So I go to start the car...it's my mom's 1986 Toyota Camry...I don't have my own car right now. Anyways her car has this problem where you can put the key in, but it won't turn! I sat there for over 10 minutes trying to get the key to turn...and the car was hot...and I was in pain...and in a hurry! Finally I just walked down to the dollar store cause I was so frustrated. Wandered around the dollar store for a few minutes, picked up a few things, replenished my tootsie roll supply and then walked back to the car. Again I sat there for 10 minutes trying to get the stupid key to turn. By now I was starting to get a blister on my thumb. Finally I go back into the dr.'s office to use their phone...all their lines are busy, so AGAIN I go try to start the car. FINALLY after another 5 minutes I get it started! Now I'm really annoyed!
I drive to Extra Foods, drop off the prescriptions and they say it will be 20-25 minutes...which means it will be at least 40 minutes! My mouth was aching, my head was throbbing, my thumb was blistering and I was hot as hell. So I came home, smoked two cigarettes (ya, I know, really good for the sore mouth!), popped an Ativan and finally calmed down enough to go get some groceries. After all that I went over and helped my mom can some peaches and then came home to work on some ATC's I need to make for a swap.
I have a few general ideas of what I'd like to do, but nothing specific...so I did some experimenting. Usually when I experiment I get MOSTLY good results...not so much tonight...not sure if it was the pain or the help of a four year old, but I finally packed it in and I'm calling it a night!
Did manage to get the money sent up for my son's birthday on the 21st and found out that my oldest dd got her learner's liscense yesterday...Congrats, Jessi! I also started trying to figure out some good music to use with slide shows...I want to make one for my mom & stepdad with some of the pics I've been taking of all their grandkids...and I will probably make one of Mercedes for Brad & his mom & dad.
Tomorrow I will be trying to get some cute pics of Braya with her new puppy, Muffy.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Idiosyncracies...
Ok, I don't have a list of blogger friends yet, and maybe this isn't 'allowed', but I stole this meme off another scrapper's blog...justfivemoreminutes... I don't know her, but she's on the scrapper's blog ring list...and I thought it would be interesting to do...
idiosyncracy: structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group. write down five of your idiosyncracies. then, if you wish, tag five people. so here we go:
1. I have specific cups/glasses depending on what I'm drinking...I have certain cups that I use for water, different glasses that I only use for juice and yet another kind of glass I use for pop...I even have a specific mug that I MUST use to melt butter.
2. I take way more books out of the library than I can read, and then I start about 3 different books within a two day period...but I can't take the books back until I've read them all...and no skipping ahead! lol
3. I cannot leave a scrapbook LO 'almost' finished and start another one. I HAVE to completely finish one LO before I can start the next...this does NOT apply to cards or altered items however, only LO's!
4. I always have a glass of juice or pop AND a glass of water around...ALL day long!
5. I have to have the tv or music on to fall asleep...volume down low, but it has to be on...thank goodness for the sleep feature on my tv...which is always set for 2 hours...not 30 minutes (which is probably when I'm asleep) but 2 hours! lol
idiosyncracy: structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group. write down five of your idiosyncracies. then, if you wish, tag five people. so here we go:
1. I have specific cups/glasses depending on what I'm drinking...I have certain cups that I use for water, different glasses that I only use for juice and yet another kind of glass I use for pop...I even have a specific mug that I MUST use to melt butter.
2. I take way more books out of the library than I can read, and then I start about 3 different books within a two day period...but I can't take the books back until I've read them all...and no skipping ahead! lol
3. I cannot leave a scrapbook LO 'almost' finished and start another one. I HAVE to completely finish one LO before I can start the next...this does NOT apply to cards or altered items however, only LO's!
4. I always have a glass of juice or pop AND a glass of water around...ALL day long!
5. I have to have the tv or music on to fall asleep...volume down low, but it has to be on...thank goodness for the sleep feature on my tv...which is always set for 2 hours...not 30 minutes (which is probably when I'm asleep) but 2 hours! lol
Again at 3am...
Here I sit, finally with a couple minutes to actually spend on my blog. I came by earlier, but discovered that for me to make any manual changes to my template, is NOT a five minute job...for me it's more like an hour job! Ugh!
Today has not been the best of days, but then again it could have been worse. Mercedes is sick with something and has been complaining of headache for the last 2 days and today she had a fever, so not much private Tania time today...lots of hugging, snuggling and trying to bribe her to take some Tylenol...apparently a spoonful of sugar DOES make the medicine go down...in the most delightful way! Sugar, honey, candy, pop...we tried it all over the last couple days! Mercedes apparently does not approve of the grape flavor of children's acetaminophen chewables...guess I'll have to get bubblegum next time. Anyways having a sick child when you yourself don't feel that great (it's so delightful to be a woman, some months!), and especially when only running on 4 hours sleep, well it just doesn't make for the most productive of days.
I did however get ALL the digital pictures on my computer organized...All of them, all 1376 of them! This is also NOT a five or ten minute job...suffice it to say that my butt fell asleep on more than one occasion! But now it's done...I still have some sub-topics of sub-topics to do, but as it stands I can push one button and see all my pictures of Mercedes, or my scrapbook pages, or cards...you get the idea!
I also was playing around with the slide show feature, and I started thinking what great Christmas gifts those would make for the people that don't get to see Mercedes that often...like her loser father...so I thought it would be nice of me to make him a disk full of pics of him & his daughter and lots of pics of just Mercedes....but I don't feel the need to be too nice, so I'm thinking I'll add some sappy song like "Daddy's Little Girl" or "Butterfly kisses" or something that will hopefully make him feel bad for not calling or visiting his daughter except for when his parents make him!!!!
K, I'm starting to taste a touch of bitterness here, so it must be time for me to hit the hay and quit thinking about Mr. Crack-in-the-box...Sorry so unexciting today & no new pics or projects, but hopefully I'll get something worked on tomorrow! See ya then...shall we say around 3am! lol
Today has not been the best of days, but then again it could have been worse. Mercedes is sick with something and has been complaining of headache for the last 2 days and today she had a fever, so not much private Tania time today...lots of hugging, snuggling and trying to bribe her to take some Tylenol...apparently a spoonful of sugar DOES make the medicine go down...in the most delightful way! Sugar, honey, candy, pop...we tried it all over the last couple days! Mercedes apparently does not approve of the grape flavor of children's acetaminophen chewables...guess I'll have to get bubblegum next time. Anyways having a sick child when you yourself don't feel that great (it's so delightful to be a woman, some months!), and especially when only running on 4 hours sleep, well it just doesn't make for the most productive of days.
I did however get ALL the digital pictures on my computer organized...All of them, all 1376 of them! This is also NOT a five or ten minute job...suffice it to say that my butt fell asleep on more than one occasion! But now it's done...I still have some sub-topics of sub-topics to do, but as it stands I can push one button and see all my pictures of Mercedes, or my scrapbook pages, or cards...you get the idea!
I also was playing around with the slide show feature, and I started thinking what great Christmas gifts those would make for the people that don't get to see Mercedes that often...like her loser father...so I thought it would be nice of me to make him a disk full of pics of him & his daughter and lots of pics of just Mercedes....but I don't feel the need to be too nice, so I'm thinking I'll add some sappy song like "Daddy's Little Girl" or "Butterfly kisses" or something that will hopefully make him feel bad for not calling or visiting his daughter except for when his parents make him!!!!
K, I'm starting to taste a touch of bitterness here, so it must be time for me to hit the hay and quit thinking about Mr. Crack-in-the-box...Sorry so unexciting today & no new pics or projects, but hopefully I'll get something worked on tomorrow! See ya then...shall we say around 3am! lol
Friday, August 12, 2005
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