after all. It didn't start out so great though. Mercedes was sick on Thursday so she stayed home from school. Late afternoon Brad shows up and asked if he could see Mercedes, and she of course wanted to see her Dad. I told him that his focus was Mercedes and when I said it was time to go, then he had to leave. He agreed to my conditions. After supper, I just started feeling exhausted and just unwell and Brad tells me that he would be glad to sleep on the couch and then take Mercedes to school in the morning. I agreed (big mistake!). Well my mom came over and saw Brad here and she asked me what he was doing here, and I said he was going to take Mercedes to school in the morning...I got the look! A look that my mother hasn't given me since I was in high school...and without one word she just turned around and went back home. But I knew she was mad. During the evening my cousin and my best friend both called me and I didn't get a great visit cause Brad was listening to everything I said. Anyways, he was shocked that I said I saw lawyers in our future. And he couldn't believe that I'd tell someone else before him!! Hello!!! We're not living together, I've said "I don't want to be married to you" and yet he seems surprised that divorce is on my mind. Skip to Friday morning. Mercedes still wasn't feeling well so Brad just laid with her watching cartoons and I was in the other room. In comes my mom. My mom is a little quiet, hates confrontation, sees the best in everyone and I've never seen her lose her temper. But when she came in my house that morning I knew something was up. First she talked to me and said that Brad is not allowed to be here. This house is for her daughter and my daughter to have a safe place to live. She told me that she knows this is hard, and it's even harder on me because of the depression, but she would do whatever she could to help us. Then she went to talk to Brad. I don't know exactly what she said but apparently is was like a Mama Bear protecting her cubs. I was just amazed at her and so very thankful that I had her help. Staying away from Brad can be really hard for me sometimes, so it feels much better knowing my mom's right there behond me. And then today my bff from grade 4 came out to spend the day with me, and because of the blizzard we are having she's staying the night. It's great to spend time with her...we can talk about anything, and we both know each other better than anyone else. Sorry for the novel, but I just think that I was able to make that first baby step and I am so grateful for my friends and family.
Here's my daily photo for today...This picture was taken at 1:30 am on my front porch.
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